her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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