remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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