Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
