HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
