It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
