I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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