I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
