...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
