Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
