At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize