I cockslap morals
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I smell stomach acid.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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