How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
