I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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