The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
