Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
