its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
