Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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