Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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