I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
