Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
