I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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