This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
