You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
