my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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