she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
