you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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