The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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