I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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