so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
