I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
we made out on top of his cat.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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