i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
