Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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