Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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