i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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