Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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