Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
