Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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