I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
