Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
