I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
