I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Couch. On fire.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
