That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Farmville is her only friend.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
