I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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