Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
