So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
