Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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