I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
