I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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