Kiss
Puke
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
