my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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