So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
