I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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