Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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