Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Please don't give away my fajitas
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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