I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
