Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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