This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize