All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
