RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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