i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize