Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
