I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
