you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
