I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize