We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
