around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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