are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
this boner is exhausting
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize