She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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