OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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