I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think my moral compass just broke
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
