What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
